Maybe One Day

Life sometimes sucks.

Tonight I had a phone conversation with a girl I call my best friend. For me, a call from my best friend is the highlight of my day. See, I don't often receive phone calls or texts from my bff anymore. So, I savor the time I get with her....a call, a text, an occasional visit when she can fit me in. It's not ideal, but it's all I have and what I hold on to.

At first, the conversation tonight was going well. We made small talk about some life stuff. However, half way into the conversation, things changed. I heard someone in the background ask my friend who she was talking to. She replied, "Ann, a friend from school."

Clearly things haven't been so great for awhile now, but I've tried and tried and tried. I really have no idea where things went bad, but somewhere between last summer and tonight, I went from being a best friend, part of the trio to just being a friend from school. WOW.

It wasn't so long ago, that this friend, another friend and I were best buds. We spent every minute we could together. We were inseparable. I grew up with these girls, shared every life experience with them and knew with certainty they would be there for me always.

But, somewhere, somehow this changed. Not on my end, but on theirs. They changed. They grew up, they got busy, they forgot. They forgot the promises, the fun, the sisterhood we once shared. They forgot me.

In one of the happiest times of my life, I hoped these friends would stand by my side and be with me on the most important day of my life. But, I really doubt that will happen. I've tried, but to no avail.

I feel so empty without them, scared to throw in the towel and be done. I'm afraid because I still have hope. Maybe one day, they'll include me. Maybe one day, they'll want to be part of my life. Maybe one day, they'll remember they loved me. For this, I pray.

-A